Kinship One Minute Guide - Managing Behaviour that Challenges You
For Kinship Carers and Special Guardians
Purpose: To help Kinship Carers and Special Guardians understand and respond to challenging behaviour using positive, trauma-informed strategies.
Why challenging behaviour happens
- Behaviour is communication and may be linked to trauma, loss, fear or unmet needs.
- Many children in kinship care have experienced adversity, separation or SEND-related needs.
- Challenging behaviour can include defiance, anger, withdrawal, dysregulation or outbursts.
Core principles of positive parenting
- Stay calm. Pause and breathe before reacting.
- Provide connection before correction.
- Be consistent. Clear routines and boundaries can reduce anxiety.
- Model emotional regulation; children learn from the adults around them.
Practical strategies
- Identify possible triggers such as tiredness, overwhelm, transitions or fear.
- Use positive reinforcement and praise the behaviour you want to see.
- Redirect early when signs of escalation appear.
- Use simple, clear expectations and follow through consistently.
- Create a predictable environment with routines and visual cues.
- Offer choices to build control and reduce power struggles.
When you need extra help
- You are not expected to manage behaviour alone.
- Schools, social workers, SEND teams and health professionals can provide support.
- Peer-support groups can reduce isolation and offer practical ideas.